I have a small confession to make. I absolutely love television! I know, it’s weird, but I just can’t get enough of it (when I am not in Courtney-Kraftbox or working on thought designs, natch!) I love to watch style shows like American Dress Hunters, reality shows like Celebrity Butt Race, and late night infomercials like the PunchPunch (the 3-hole punch you can punch!)
My televisual afinity will sometimes catch up with my body, and my eyes pay the price. Staying up late watching television, and then waking a mere 3 hours later can lead to eye puffiness, dark circles, or—in my case—a severe combination of the two. I have a severe case of hereditary periorbital puffiness and colorings that can look as if I’ve been given two black eyes. These unsightly purple bulges led a lot of my private school chums calling me Punching Bag Brown. That, and the punchings they would administer. It can also affect my professional life now! Take it from me, black eyes make it hard to impress clients at a power breakfast at Power Breakfast (located on 96th and Holland Ave.) After my Lifesperiment™ to stay in bed for a full day, I looked like I had been struck by serveral boxers during several boxing matches.
What to do? What to do? Fear not, fleyrmers! Today, I will share with you some tips on how to reduce these unattractive genetic blemishes, and keep you looking beautiful and radiant on even the most meager amounts of sleep.